I wrestle with this, because I absolutely know lovely humans who embrace the neurodiversity paradigm AND who've had their lives turned upside down by trying to cope with the very intense needs of their autistic kids. It can feel like those ideas are in tension—the idea that all minds are beautiful and worthy of respect and validation, AND the idea that parents of autistic kids sometimes experience very real pain and loss as they try to meet the needs of their neurodivergent kids while also taking care of themselves and living the lives *they* want to live. I guess what I'm saying here is that I do think it's important to move away from a pathology paradigm—but I think it's critical that we do it while validating that embracing a loved one's neurodiversity can be a complicated, messy business, especially when you're doing it in spite of the broader culture, which pushes all of us to conform to neurotypical expectations.